Revenge is Cold
by Lindelas
Summary: Kirk decides to take a little friendly revenge on Spock for being marooned on Delta Vega. Non-slash.


_AN/ Ok, so my plan was to write a humor fic on the Original Series, and I even started one... but then I saw the new movie and had to write this. I'll still try to __write an Original Series story, (although the one I began isn't going to fly because it was begun too hastily and with too little information)__ because even though I really (really, really) loved the new one, I'm trying to keep my loyalty firmly grounded with the OS__! Zachary Quinto did a phenomenal job bringing Spock to life, but Chris Pine didn't really seem like Kirk to me. I guess maybe William Shatner will always be Capt. Kirk in my imagination. : )_

_And on a completely unrelated note, is it just me, or is the majority of reading material in this particular section __comprised of __SLASH-FICS!?!?! __I just have one thing to say about that--YUCK! : P_

_--_

"Scotty, will you do something for me?" Kirk asked before he joined the rest of his landing team in the transporter room. They had only to wait for Spock and they were going down.

"You're command is my wish, sir." Scott answered cheerfully.

"It's more like a personal favor, Mr. Scott." Kirk continued. "You remember when you first met me on Delta Vega?"

Scotty grinned. "How could I forget that, Captain. You looked like something the ice cats drug in!"

"Yeah, yeah. Well, I suppose you gathered that Spock was the one that put me there?"

"I did sort of pick that up, yes."

"All right. Where we're beaming, there's a large body of water on the planet's surface. I want you to put us down close to it. But I want you to put Mr. Spock _in it."_

"Are you sure it's safe, Captain?"

"Perfectly. Its a harmless lake; just like the ones on earth. I checked it thoroughly. Actually, Spock checked it thoroughly..." Kirk allowed an ironic smile to steal over his features for a moment. "The only thing is that its a _little_ cold. Though nothing like Delta Vega I'm sure. Will you do it?"

Scotty chuckled. "I'll do it, sir, but I think it's bonny mean of ya to hold a grudge like that. And also, if he decides to tear your arms off in retaliation; A'hm claimin' no responsibility."

Kirk winked. "Thanks, Scotty."

Spock joined them a moment later, face impassive as usual. Kirk found himself wondering what his reaction would be, and tried to keep from grinning stupidly as he exchanged a quick glance with his first officer. Spock's eyebrow rose slightly, and Kirk quickly pushed any outward signs of his plan off his face and out of his mind.

"Energize."

As they materialized on the planet's rocky beach, Kirk turned just in time to see Spock lunge out of the water in surprise and shock at the cold. When he caught his balance and stood it came only to his chest. But though he had regained his balance, his composure was a little slower in coming. His brown eyes were wide and his mouth hung open in a gasp. His dark hair stuck out at odd angles and water streamed off of him in rivulets.

Kirk nearly fell over laughing. If Spock decided to take revenge, it would be worth it just for the look on the Vulcan's face.

"Hey Spock, Remember Delta Vega?" He choked through uncontrollable giggles.

The look of surprise slowly faded from Spock's face to be replaced with a glare as he realized that Kirk was responsible for his current predicament. He took a step toward the shore. The other crew members that had been laughing before (it was impossible not to, despite their best efforts to respect the first officer) immediately shut their mouths and took a few steps backward as Spock waded toward Kirk. the young captain was still doubled over in laughter and found he couldn't move fast enough as the angry Vulcan came closer.

"Now Spock... heh, it's not _that_ cold, is it?" Kirk gasped, trying to move out of range, still laughing.

"The temperature is exactly 15.2 degrees Celsius." Spock informed him, with exactly that much ice in his voice.

"Really?" Kirk paused in his mirth long enough to marvel at his first officer's calculating ability before breaking into chortles again. "Well I nearly got eaten when you marooned me, and the ice... it was really cold! Spock? What are you...? Hey! Let go!"

Kirk, completely helpless in his laughter, was hauled to the edge of the water and unceremoniously shoved in.

It _was_ cold. Absolutely frigid. If Spock hadn't just thrown him in, he might have actually taken a moment to feel guilty about having Spock beamed into water this icy. Now though, all he could think about was that he somehow had to get his limbs working long enough to get him back to shore; and hope that Spock's sense of vengeance would be satisfied.

He ran out of the water at a much faster and less dignified pace than Spock had, gasping with cold and rubbing his limbs furiously. His crew was laughing again, this time at him. Spock was still stony faced, but the barest hint of satisfaction could be seen tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"I believe on Earth you would say that we are square?"

"No! " Kirk gasped indignantly. "I was getting you back for Delta Vega!"

Spock blinked. "This could go on for quite some time."

Kirk smiled evilly through blue lips.

"Or," Spock said reasonably, "You could concede that superior Vulcan intelligence will eventually land you in such an uncomfortable state as to make you wish that you never existed."

"Hmm... superior Vulcan intelligence... I might give you that one, but what about _human_ creativity?"

"Merely an unnecessary off-shoot, but one that I do posses in limited amounts. You are therefore, at a disadvantage."

Kirk shivered. Fortunately, the water was the only thing about the planet that was cold. The air itself was tolerable, and he was beginning to feel like less of an icicle. All the same, Kirk wasn't sure if he was up to battling malevolent Vulcan intelligence-- or creativity for the rest of his days. It was unusual for him, but he decided to surrender to his new friend before things got _really_ uncomfortable. For now, anyway.

"All right, Spock. Call it quits. I have to sleep sometime."

"A very wise choice, Captain."

"You did look _really_ funny though." Kirk snickered as they made their way toward the settlement.

"In my opinion, your reaction was far more amusing."

"Nope. You didn't see the look on your face."

"Conversely, you did not see the look on yours."

"Spock, would you quit arguing and admit that you looked ridiculous for five whole wonderful seconds? You threw me into the water and ruined my revenge. It's the least you can do!"

"I fail to see how admitting to something that I could not see would advance your argument in the least."

Kirk blinked in confusion and slowly raised his communicator. "Scotty, do me a favor. Beam Spock back into the water."


End file.
